Sometimes when we relapse and fall back into our old patterns of dependence, it’s because we’ve faltered in our commitment to ourselves and our sobriety. We’ve lost sight of the goals and intentions we’ve set for ourselves to get well. We’ve lost faith in ourselves. Often the reasons as to why our commitment might waver are unconscious. Consciously we want to get sober and do what’s best for ourselves, but underneath the surface of our awareness are subconscious beliefs and fears that are testing our commitment. We can look to these as some of the underlying causes why we might falter in our commitment not only to our sobriety but to our overall well-being.
When we’re unsure of ourselves and full of fear and self-doubt, we have a tendency to go back on the plans we’ve made for ourselves and to regress mentally and emotionally, when for so long we’ve been desperately wanting to move forward and be well. We find ourselves feeling lost and confused. We don’t know what direction to take in our recovery or in our lives. We might not yet have gained the self-assuredness and confidence we need to keep going when we run into challenges. We might be feeling the disappointment, shame and embarrassment that come with relapsing. We may still be struggling to learn how to cope with the addictive urges and temptations of our addictions. Many of us are still grappling with mental health issues and are feeling the weight of depression, the turmoil of anxiety and the sadness of our insecurities. We feel a mounting sense of pressure growing every day. We feel we’ve fallen short of our expectations and let ourselves down. We can find this increasing stress to be so overwhelming that it makes us want to stop trying altogether. We give up hope, and as a result we let go of our commitment to our sobriety and to our healing. This adds to our feelings of defeat and disappointment, and to cope, we turn to our drugs of choice, perpetuating the addictive cycles we’ve been trying so hard to extricate ourselves from.
Our commitment to our recovery can be tested every step of the way. When we lose faith in ourselves and our ability to get well, we lose our connection to our inner selves and our dedication to our sobriety can suffer. The limiting beliefs we’re carrying that tell us that we’re not strong enough, that we’re powerless, that our addictions control us, can chip away at our resolve and our determination to get well. Examining some of these reasons behind why our commitment can waver can help us to understand ourselves on a deeper level and therefore offset these factors as we’re doing our very important recovery work.
The community of Riverside Recovery has personal experience with addiction and the feelings of hopelessness and disconnection that come with it. We’re here to help you reclaim the life you love. Call (800) 871-5440 today.