Learning to love ourselves might sound like an impossible feat, especially when we’ve been inundating ourselves with self-hatred for so many years. Self-love is something we can’t just wish for, we have to actively work at it. We have to give it our time and energy. We have to view it as a practice and commit to it. Self-hatred is like a virus that spreads when we don’t take measures to stop it. It festers on our denial. We often use our addictions and our relationships to avoid having to feel the pain of our self-hate. We distract ourselves with a drug, or a drink, or a new partner. Even the pain of our situations feels better than the heavy weight of our self-hatred. How do we stop ourselves from hating ourselves, so that we can be free and learn how to be happy?
The first step is acknowledging our self-hatred, which often presents itself as insecurity. Are you quick to put yourself down, either in your own mind or to other people? Are you self-deprecating? Do you try to make light of all the ways in which you feel bad about yourself? Do you compare yourself to other people and try to compete with them? Is your inner voice full of harshness and unkindness? We tend to be cruel to ourselves when we don’t love and accept ourselves. In order to heal, we have to first accept that we have adopted a self-hating mentality. Acknowledging it is the first step to healing it.
Next, we want to learn to catch ourselves every time we’re speaking or thinking ill of ourselves. We want to put a stop to our destructive self-talk. When that voice in your mind pops up beating yourself up or putting yourself down, take a deep breath and say things to yourself like, “I am feeling insecurity in this moment, I’m experiencing self-rejection, but I can turn it around. I can learn to love myself.” Start to repeat self-loving affirmations throughout the day to reprogram your subconscious mind. “I love myself. I accept myself. I respect myself. I am lovable. I am worthy. I am more than good enough. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be good to myself.”
We won’t stop hating ourselves overnight, but making the choice to get better and to love ourselves is half the battle. The more we put work into the process of learning to love ourselves, the more we will reap the benefits.
We’re here to help you reclaim the life you love, the life that was nearly destroyed from addiction but which can be saved with help and support. Call us at (800) 871-5440 today.