Many of us recovering from addiction are also struggling to figure out our relationship issues, our life challenges, our behavioral patterns, and all the complexities therein. We’re still grappling with contentious relationship dynamics, turmoil, instability and insecurity in our closest relationships. Many of us are in relationships with other addicts, and some of the issues we face around our addictions can be compounded by the fact that we’re struggling with many of the same things. One of the common relationship issues we find ourselves struggling with is that of confrontation. We have a hard time resolving conflicts, fostering healthy communication, establishing boundaries and expressing our needs, wishes and expectations. We have a hard time asserting ourselves, standing up for ourselves and prioritizing making sure our needs are met. Conflicts are a common and normal part of relationships, but when they arise, we struggle with confrontation. We’re afraid of angering people. We’re afraid of the anxiety that might ensue. We’re afraid of being judged. We’re afraid of alienating the other person or even losing them altogether. Why should we practice healthy confrontation in recovery?
Often when we’re struggling with addiction, we find ways to avoid the problems in our relationships. We try to pretend they’re not there. We ignore them. We suppress all our difficult feelings around the issue and try to force ourselves to stop thinking about it. We allow our concerns to go undiscussed and serious problems to go unresolved. We learn over time that this doesn’t work. It doesn’t help us to heal, and it doesn’t help our relationship to thrive. The problems fester and worsen over time, and our complex emotions surrounding them become deeper and more complicated. We’re ultimately causing ourselves more pain and doing more damage to the relationship.
Recovering from addiction and mental illness requires that we cultivate as much peace, harmony, and tranquility as we possibly can. Inner turmoil and tension within our relationships can act as serious triggers for relapse and can contribute greatly to our depression, anxiety and other mental health issues. Practicing healthy confrontation in our relationships brings us far more peace, balance and security than avoidance, distraction and escapism tactics do. The more grounded and centered we can be within ourselves, the healthier our relationships will be and the more smoothly we’ll be able to confront the difficulties that inevitably come up for us.
We can practice healthy confrontation by setting the intention that everyone involved stay as calm, positive and optimistic as possible. We can practice meditating together, writing out the issues to help release the negative energy, and doing energy healing exercises together. We can commit to discussing the issues, not arguing or debating them. We can make the conscious choice to work together to come to solutions rather than trying to tear each other down and prove who is right or wrong. We can choose to confront the problematic issues with courage, rather than letting our fear keep us from finding peace in our relationships. The more we strive for healthy confrontation in our relationships, the better our chances of a successful recovery because we’re prioritizing peace and harmony, both within our relationships and within ourselves.
Riverside Recovery understands all of the emotional challenges of addiction recovery and is here to support you. Call us today for more information: (800) 871-5440.