The following was written by Erin, a Riverside Recovery alumnus, and has been lightly edited for web format.
When Alcohol Became the Answer
My name is Erin, and I am an alcoholic. My sobriety date is June 3rd, 2018, this time around. You see, I wasn’t a “one-chip wonder”, but I will remain a “two-chip wonder” by continuing to do what is required for me to remain sober, one day at a time.
My drinking career started at an early age, around age 13. This was actually the first time I experienced the wonderful effect that alcohol could have on me. Coming from a family whose father was an alcoholic, booze was always around, and I often took sips from my mom or dad’s drink. But it wasn’t until that fateful night, sitting alone in my basement in the dark, after drinking more than just a sip of dad’s liquor that I got my first “buzz”. Alcohol was the answer to my prayers! My insecurities, shyness, and feelings of never belonging were going to be washed away by magical alcohol!
And so it was. My middle and high school years took place in the 70s, where sex, drugs and rock & roll reigned, and I overindulged in all three. High school was quite a blur, and despite having the capability of making straight A’s, I barely made it through graduation. I always held a job while in school; therefore, I always had money, not to mention I had a weird sugar daddy who gave me pounds of pot to sell and was able to buy my booze. My life of drugs and alcohol brought me to many exciting places, lots of rock concerts, but also to many dark, scary places.
Chasing a Fresh Start While Still Drinking
During my last two months of high school, (my parents had divorced when I was 14) my mom and her new husband decided to move to Florida and left my brother and me behind to sell the house. She came back for my graduation, and after that, I decided a geographical cure may be the answer to the bad reputation and lifestyle I had created for myself, and moved down to Florida with them. After about 9 months, despite enrolling in community college and getting a job at a bank, and, of course, a continuation of drinking (but no more drugs), she and her new husband had enough of me and asked me to leave.
My father stepped in and asked me to move back to Michigan with him and his new wife and asked that I hold down a part-time job and enroll in college. I did all three and lived there for about 3 years. I graduated cum laude with my associate’s degree in business and had started my prerequisites for nursing school, making great grades. Having had a taste of Florida living, however, I soon tired of the cold and snow and transferred all my credits to USF and in 1983, enrolled in the College of Nursing. I graduated magna cum laude with my bachelor’s degree in science in 1986 and began my career as a nurse.
First Treatment, Sobriety, and Relapse
I had been living on my own since moving to Florida, and once again, began indulging in the cocaine and, of course, lots of booze. I enjoyed sailing, owned a 25-foot sailboat with my brother, worked at TGH, and met my now husband through mutual friends, all of which were partying like I was. It all came crashing down when I was confronted at work one day and was asked to do a drug test. Of course, it was positive, and I was given the choice, after they fired me, of going to treatment or they would report me to the Board of Nursing. Since my nursing license was the only thing of value I had going for me at the time, I agreed to go to treatment, not for myself, but because I wasn’t going to let anyone take away the only productive thing I had ever done in my life. So off to the Koala Center in Bushnell I went. My first treatment center.
Once out of treatment, I got a sponsor, worked the program to the best of my ability and fulfilled all the requirements necessary to get my license back to active status, which is when I began working for BayCare. My IPN requirements took 2 years to complete, and I was sober for 10-11 years after that. During that time, I got married to my current husband, had two boys and strayed away from AA. I was going to play groups instead of AA groups, became increasingly restless, irritable and discontented, and eventually picked up a drink. Shocker. It was a chocolate martini at the Blue Martini. And it was only a matter of 6 weeks before I became a daily drinker again.
Rock Bottom and Finding Riverside Recovery
This went on for 17 more years until I wound up at one of my BayCare facilities with cirrhosis of the liver. My life was purposeless, my health was in jeopardy, my oldest son got as far away (FSU in Tallahassee) as he could, my youngest watched in horror as I drank myself almost to death, and my husband was just disgusted with it all. I was discharged from the hospital on Friday and found myself at the liquor store Saturday morning. How could that be?? The next day, Sunday, God decided to take charge, because I was barely capable of doing much of anything. Somehow, I reached out to an old counselor, who had since moved to Wisconsin, and I told her what was going on. She somehow arranged for me to be accepted into Riverside the next day, Monday, June 4th. That was the beginning of my current journey. Riverside helped save my life. I needed to break the cycle. They helped me to recover physically and emotionally and jump-started me into the development of my spirituality (this took me some time).
Life Today: Surrender and Peace
From June 4th, 2018, until today, I have delved completely into the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. I have come all the way in, and I have sat all the way down. I have surrendered, and now I have peace. It took lots of work, (thank God hard work never scared me) willingness, brutal honesty to be able to look at myself without reservation, lots of tears and a blind faith that has now become real and true. I am surrounded by wonderful women and men who are there to hold me up when I can’t stand, to help me see truth instead of my twisted perception, and have held the flashlight for me on this journey I call sobriety. My children are a part of my life today, my husband is still around, I attend meetings 5 days a week because I want to, and I wake up looking forward to what lies ahead each day. I am once again a full and productive participant in life and I’m loving every minute of it!!
Living Proof: Sobriety is an Adventure
Today, Erin travels with other sober women, proving that recovery isn’t about what you give up; it’s about what you gain. From exploring new destinations to creating unforgettable memories, Erin and her sober community show that life without alcohol is anything but boring.
Through these adventures, she demonstrates to others still struggling that sobriety offers a freedom they never imagined possible: the freedom to be fully present, genuinely happy, and truly alive.
Your Second Chance Can Start Today
Erin’s story is proof that life can completely change when you take the first step toward recovery, even if it’s not your first time trying. If you’re struggling with addiction or alcoholism, whether it’s your first attempt at sobriety or you’re coming back after a relapse, Riverside Recovery is here to walk with you every step of the way.
Contact Riverside Recovery today to find out how our programs can help you build a life filled with hope, healing, and purpose.