Because our self-sabotage often comes from our underlying fears of inadequacy and unworthiness, stopping our self-sabotaging behaviors and patterns comes down to changing our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves.
As part of our healing, we can choose to start seeing our traumatic experiences not as evidence of some kind of failing on our part, but as challenges to overcome, spiritual tests we were given to strengthen us. We can see our pain as serving us, not as punishing us. In this way, we can stop believing that we are bad or wrong or to blame for the difficult things we’ve experienced. We can give ourselves more compassion, more empathy, more understanding.
As we soften our views about ourselves and the things we’ve been through, we can start to shed all the limiting, destructive beliefs we’ve been holding onto about what we do and don’t deserve in life. We can start to speak to ourselves differently. “No matter what I’ve been through, I deserve to be happy. I deserve to go after my goals. I am worthy of my dreams coming true.” Our self-talk over time contributes to the development of our subconscious programming, which fuels our thoughts, feelings and behaviors, which in turn drive our patterns. Once we start changing this programming, we can shed the destructive, self-sabotaging patterns we once clung to and replace them with healthier ones.
What form does your self-sabotage take? How does it show up in your life? Maybe it’s something as seemingly small as eating foods that don’t agree with your body, that cause you to feel unwell, fatigued, anxious or sick. Maybe it’s choosing to give in to excuses and stopping yourself from exercising when you know how much it helps you emotionally, mentally and physically. Or like many of us, maybe your self-sabotage takes on the form of substance abuse, compulsive risky behaviors, or other kinds of addictions. Any kind of self-sabotage can cause us tremendous amounts of shame and regret, and very often we try to drown out those painful emotions with more self-sabotage. What if, instead, we chose to jump off the hamster wheel and said, “No more! No matter where I am in this cycle, I can choose differently. I can act differently. I can make different choices. I am worthy of my own self-love.”
The choices we make might feel small and insignificant at first, but they really do add up. Every single thing we do that is good for ourselves helps us to break the cycle of self-sabotage. Every time we make a healthier choice and turn away from a toxic one we are weakening the hold that self-sabotage has had over us.
We can help you to identify where self-sabotage appears in your life and what steps you can take to create new and healthier patterns for yourself. Call (800) 871-5440.