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We manifest our outer world, the things we see in our realities, our circumstances, our health and relationships, from what’s going on in our inner world. Our thoughts, emotions and beliefs are so powerful that they bring about what we experience in our lives. When we have unhealthy relationships, it is often because internally we believe that’s what we deserve. Consciously we want to be happy. We want to love someone who loves us in return. We want healthy relationships. Subconsciously, however, we are holding onto destructive and limiting beliefs about ourselves and what kind of relationships we deserve.

When we dig deep to analyze how we really feel about ourselves, many of us are grappling with feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness. We don’t feel we deserve to be happy. We don’t love ourselves. How could we possibly hope to attract a relationship that values and appreciates us when we don’t value or appreciate ourselves? We manifest based on our energy, based on how we feel. If our dominant energy about ourselves is one of self-rejection rather than self-acceptance, we’re going to attract relationships that mirror this energy back to us. We’re going to attract partners who reinforce our fears that we’re unworthy, and who convince us our fears are true. We’re going to manifest partnerships that make us feel even worse about ourselves.

Self-hate is a powerfully destructive force. It can taint everything in our lives, from our health, to our happiness, to our chances for success. The same is true with our relationships. When we hate ourselves, we don’t believe we deserve a loving relationship. We might consciously tell ourselves that we want happiness, but we’re subconsciously self-sabotaging at every turn. We might even repeat affirmations about self-love and self-respect, but when we aren’t reinforcing our affirmations with our energy and the intention of our feelings and belief, they are empty and won’t actually change anything for us. We have to transform our energy from within, and really start believing in our worthiness, and then our affirmations and other healing tools will be able to take root in our subconscious minds and create change within us.

When we don’t love ourselves, we often attract other people who also don’t love themselves. We often find ourselves in relationships with people who are struggling in similar ways, battling addiction and coping with mental health issues. Our relationships are consumed with addiction, and we enable each other’s patterns and exacerbate each other’s unhealthiness.

The answer to attracting healthy relationships is to heal ourselves from within. Inner transformation is so powerful that we start to see huge shifts in how well things work out for us.

Riverside Recovery is here to help you reclaim the life you love and get back to the person you’re meant to be. Call us today: (800) 871-5440.