Separating Ourselves from Toxic Relationships

One of the best things we can do for ourselves in recovery is separate ourselves from the toxic relationships that have been bringing us down. When we are struggling with addiction, we often attract other people also living with addiction. Our relationships are often toxic and destructive, we enable one another’s addictions, and we contribute to each other’s suffering. Removing ourselves from these relationships is one of the most important things we’ll do in our recovery.

When we are in these toxic relationships, we are often codependent. We depend on one another emotionally and have lost our emotional independence. We stop prioritizing our own wellbeing, and we often put the other person before us. When we make the decision to separate ourselves from these relationships, we’re telling ourselves that we matter, that our health and wellness are important, that we will no longer place more importance on other people than we do ourselves.

These relationships can often exacerbate our addictive behaviors and self-destructive tendencies. We amplify each other’s issues and enable each other’s behaviors, causing us to perpetuate our cycles of addiction but sometimes on an even more magnified scale because we are now dealing with the addictions of two people rather than just our own. These relationships can be catastrophic. They often are abusive as well. When we are able to separate ourselves, we are taking a huge step in our personal development and recovery.

Sometimes when we are in these relationships, we come to believe that we can’t live without the other person. Not only do we depend on them emotionally, we develop our identities around the relationship and have a hard time imagining life without them. We become desperate in our attachment and feel like we can’t let go. Removing ourselves from these cycles is an act of courage and strength. To empower ourselves to do what’s best for us, let’s start to change our belief systems. Where we thought our whole world was this other person, we can say to ourselves things like, “I am important. I prioritize my own wellbeing. My happiness matters.” We can start to increase our feelings of self-worth by saying, “I am worthy of healthy relationships. I deserve happiness.” Where we feel scared and powerless, we can affirm “I am strong. I am brave. I have the power to do what’s best for myself.”

We understand the struggles of addiction and recovery firsthand. Let us help you. Call (800) 871-5440.