Treatment and therapy for substance abuse frequently focus on educating patients and families about the disease of addiction. We know it’s essential to show people who are affected by addiction that it is not a choice, it is an illness. It is no one’s fault that substance abuse happens. Blaming ourselves or one another, holding grudges or seeking to avoid each other only serves to make the effects worse.
But putting these principles into practice often goes against the years of isolation, guilt and frustration that come with addiction. We internalize the idea that giving in to addiction somehow makes us a bad person or makes us undeserving of love. We believe we need to hit rock bottom or suffer consequences before we’re worthy of help. Addiction under the illusion that we are only hurting ourselves. We create a self-fulfilling prophecy in which we let our problems and our sense of personal love, and in turn, allow our problems to persist.
When we do seek recovery, however, we need to let love and compassion back into our lives. We need to learn to forgive ourselves for our past behaviors. We need our futures instead of allowing our pasts to define us. When we embrace compassion in addiction recovery, both for ourselves and for those around us, we can more clearly see that we don’t need the object of our addiction to feel good. Surrounding ourselves with love by finding support in others can bring a more profound sense of fulfillment that doesn’t wear off, and that breaks the cycle of self-defeating behaviors.
Self-love in the Face of Addiction
Self-love is something that everyone struggles with, not just people who have dealt with addiction. We tend to focus on the negatives about ourselves. We are our own worst critics. While being self-critical helps us admit our own flaws and learn to be better, too much self-criticism can quickly become a downward spiral if it is not balanced by a healthy appreciation of our positive qualities.
Addiction is a breeding ground for negativity. Addictive behaviors cause significant disruptions in natural brain chemistry. They flood our brain with the feelings of happiness and confidence, but they also leave our brain drained of positivity as the effects wear off. We fall into a pattern of only feeling good about ourselves when our brain is artificially stimulated by withdrawal and cravings.
In recovery treatment, we spend much of our time learning how to love ourselves again. We come to understand that the root of our self-criticism is often unfounded or unjustified. We work with counselors to train ourselves how to have natural feelings of happiness and well-being that don’t require substances. As we progress through the recovery timeline, we come to see that self-love is the cornerstone of recovery. It fills the void that is left when we leave behind our substance. Self-love gives us the inner strength and confidence to say no to addiction every day of our lives.
Compassion for Others Through Recovery
Recovery also brings us back to a place where we remember that we are not alone. Whether we have family or friends in our lives to go to for help, established important new connections through treatment, part of healing from addiction involves building a support network and learning to be part of others’ support networks. Compassion is a thread of this; we must open ourselves up not only to let others in, but to extend love ourselves to them, so we feel like a part of a community.
Through recovery, we learn that our experience with addiction is not the only one. Millions of people struggle with this disease, and it can affect people of all walks of life. When we recognize that there is no shame or reason to addiction, we can feel more comfortable coming to terms with and letting go of our own worries. We also see that other people in our community are facing real conflict, too. Sharing our stories in group therapy or meetings teaches us that we’re not alone. Sharing with family members helps them understand that we know we have hurt them. We take ownership in our recovery, not just for our own benefit, but because we genuinely care about the feelings of those we love and of those who love us back.
With a strong sense of compassion, we take another step in recovery: understanding how our actions affect those we love. Recognizing that our loved ones’ distress does not solve this problem; the hurt we can cause by letting addiction win remains. But through recovery, we can heal these wounds in ourselves and others.
Choosing Empathy Over “Tough Love”
For families confronting addiction, it can often feel like a zero-sum situation. A loved one is struggling with addiction. It’s an ongoing challenge. We want to offer support, but we don’t want to enable. We hear that people who struggle with addiction must help themselves. We don’t know what we’re supposed to do. We don’t have the right words to say. We fear that our behavior is problematic, they must want to continue using. We think about cutting them off, kicking them out, or getting them in trouble. These are framed as interventions that will help someone in active addiction get into treatment.
While there is validity to the concern that support can be enabling, there are other kinds of support we can offer that do not involve giving someone money or covering up their mistakes. What the recovery community is now showing is that empathetic, familial support throughout recovery and treatment can improve positive recovery outcomes. Compassionate approaches can heal our loved ones with respect and dignity. When we show an addicted loved one that we understand what they are going through, that what they are going through is valid, it provides encouragement to seek help rather than leaving them feeling abandoned. You can walk their path of recovery with them if you are feeling unsure about providing healthy support, family resources and therapy are available.
Love and compassion are key human emotions that are stripped away over the course of addiction. Building them back into your life is the best way to restore your hope and confidence and to find lifelong recovery.
Finding Compassion-based Recovery in Tampa Bay
If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, compassionate, evidence-based treatment can help rebuild the foundation for lasting recovery. At Riverside Recovery, our treatment programs are designed to help individuals rediscover self-love, rebuild damaged relationships, and develop the emotional tools needed for long-term sobriety.
Our comprehensive approach includes individual therapy, group counseling, and family support services that emphasize healing through connection rather than isolation. We serve communities throughout the Tampa Bay area, including Tampa, New Port Richey, and surrounding Hillsborough, Pinellas, and Pasco Counties.
Our family program helps loved ones understand addiction as a disease while learning how to provide healthy, empathetic support throughout the recovery journey. When families heal together, everyone benefits.
Recovery is possible, and you don’t have to face it alone. Contact Riverside Recovery today to learn more about our compassionate treatment programs and how we can help you or your loved one begin the path to healing.