A key way we can examine our cycles is through our relationships. Our interpersonal experiences can tell us a lot about ourselves – how deserving we feel we are of love, how worthy we believe ourselves to be, how much self-love we have, how we resolve conflicts with other people. When we think of our outer world, including our relationships, as a manifestation of our inner world, we can see how our beliefs about ourselves directly manifest the kinds of relationships we have. An abusive relationship might lead you to manifest more abuse down the line, for example, in part because you’ve developed the limiting belief that you are undeserving of better. A childhood experience of abandonment and neglect might cause you to believe that that is all you’re worthy of, and so you’ll attract relationships later in life that make you feel abandoned and neglected all over again.
Sometimes we repeat the stories of our traumatic experiences in such clear ways that when we realize it, we’re shocked by the similarities. Maybe our marriage was an obvious reiteration of our parents’ marriage. Maybe the mistakes we made with our children were the same ones our parents made with us. We sometimes need to be far removed from the situation in order to see it more objectively. We need time and distance. Over time we gain the clarity and perspective that come with reflection. We see in hindsight what we weren’t able to see when we were in the middle of it.
Such analysis can show us the ways in which our life cycles have been directed and influenced by our trauma. Stopping ourselves from repeating the same patterns takes mindful work on our part. We have to become more aware of the thoughts, feelings and fears that are contributing to our recurring issues. We have to make the conscious decision that we don’t want to self-destruct anymore. We can choose not to let our future be dictated by the trauma of our past. We can choose to allow ourselves to grow and move past our difficult experiences. We can accept all of the lessons they bring us without letting them control us anymore.
The community at Riverside Recovery is here to provide you with the supportive environment, care and fellowship you need to focus on your recovery. Call (800) 871-5440 today for more information on our addiction recovery treatment programs.