Making Healthy Relationship Choices in Recovery

Whenever we want to start making healthier choices for ourselves, we first need to become more conscious of how we’re thinking, feeling and operating. Our thought patterns, emotional responses and behaviors inform and direct the choices we make. Our decisions are often dictated by our inner world. If we’re feeling down on ourselves for example, we will make decisions based on that self-rejection and feelings of low self-esteem. The same is true for making healthy relationship choices in recovery. We don’t want to keep making the same mistakes we regret and choosing the same kinds of partners we’re unhappy with. We don’t want to continue the same recurring cycles and perpetuate the same patterns. We want something different, and better, for ourselves.

At each step of the process, we want to check in with ourselves about the choices we’re making. We want to be honest with ourselves, because when we lie to ourselves, we usually are misguided, ignoring our instincts and settling for less than we deserve. We want to strengthen our intuition, which happens when we practice listening to our internal guidance system and following its directions. Let’s look at our choices closely and be unafraid to unearth the deeper meanings within.

What does this relationship do for me? What are my needs in a relationship? Is this relationship providing me with everything I need in a partner? What are my goals in a partnership? Is this relationship helping me reach those goals, or is it holding me back? Are we genuinely compatible? Is our relationship based on trust, love and support, or on neediness and attachment? Is this relationship helping me to grow or keeping me down? Do I feel valued, appreciated, respected, and cherished? Are there warning signs or red flags that I don’t want to look at? Am I ignoring my intuition or lying to myself about anything? Am I repeating the same cycles and dating the same kind of person over and over again? Is this relationship a mirror of past relationships, and/or of my upbringing? Is this partner a reflection of my addiction, or of my capacity for transformation? Are we helping each other grow, learn and improve? Or are we keeping each other locked in the same patterns of self-destruction? Are we enabling each other’s addictions? Am I attracted to this person because I am using them to fill a void within me? Are we using each other? Am I truly happy with this person? Can I find fulfillment in this relationship, or is it more wasted time, energy, potential, possibility? Do I hold onto unhealthy relationships because I’m unhappy with myself? What do my relationships say about me?

Riverside Recovery is here to help you find your joy and fulfillment as you work to recover and learn to make healthier choices for yourself. Call us today for more information on our treatment programs: (800) 871-5440.

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