When living with addiction, our relationships tend to be full of volatility, drama, tension and misunderstanding. They’re full of control, restriction and manipulation. They’re often co-dependent attachments full of neediness, obsessiveness and compulsiveness. They can even be violent and abusive. We find ourselves putting up with things we never thought we would – dishonesty, cruelty, even danger. Our relationships are a reflection of our inner world, so they mirror back to us all the issues we have yet to resolve. If we’re afraid of abandonment, we’ll manifest relationships that reflect that fear. We’ll choose partners that continuously make us feel abandoned, that threaten to abandon us, and that neglect us in ways both big and small. They won’t provide us with the commitment, security and stability we crave. They won’t be faithful to us or show us loyalty. These relationships often contribute to our addictive patterns, because we’re desperate to relieve our pain, and we use our drugs of choice to try to find some comfort and escape. We compound our mental illnesses because we’re not dedicating time to healing. We’re actually creating additional layers of pain to have to heal from. We’re further traumatized by these relationships, compounding the initial trauma we still haven’t worked through.
Toxic relationships keep us from being able to attain inner peace. Instead of focusing on ourselves, on our goals, on our self-care, we prioritize these very unhealthy relationships. We’re often desperate for companionship, for attention, for someone to fill the voids within us that we aren’t working to fill for ourselves. Ultimately we want to learn to feel whole and complete on our own, without needing anyone or anything outside of ourselves to do that for us. Until we get to that place, we will always struggle with finding peace within ourselves. Inner peace and tranquility will continue to elude us. A huge part of attaining the balance and peace that we crave, and that we need in order to heal, is choosing to let go of our toxic relationships and to finally prioritize ourselves.
Your new life starts today. Let Riverside Recovery be your support system as you do the work to heal. Call (800) 871-5440 for more information on our addiction recovery. treatment programs.