I first attended Riverside Recovery’s residential program in May of 2023. The only other time I attended an inpatient rehabilitation program was when I was 24 years of age. It was a professional program that I was required to attend by the Florida Bar. At the time, I didn’t feel that I had any issues with substance abuse, attributing any problematic occurrences to youthful indiscretion and bad luck. Fast forward a decade… I was ready.
Living in Denial
I was always able to maintain myself professionally. I was employed and educated. I could not fathom that I was an alcoholic. Of course, my idea of what an alcoholic looked like was merely based on what I was exposed to through television and media. I had suffered greatly at the unrelenting hands of this disease; however, it was never my fault. It was the peculiar set of circumstances that all seemed to culminate in the perfect storm that was my life.
Every relationship I lost was directly or indirectly due to my alcohol use or corresponding behavior. Any legal consequence was the same. I often dreamed about how amazingly unblemished my life would be if I “just did not drink.” Still, I could not envision how I could achieve this grand feat, though I had attempted to stop on numerous occasions.
On paper, I appeared unstoppable. Internally, I was broken and desperate. I refused to accept the entirety of the dilemma. I could not grasp the unmanageability of all things. Despite the fact that I was drinking morning, noon, and night, I still was “responsible.” It never occurred to me that the average person does not engage in such destructive behavior.
My final episode culminated during my brother’s wedding weekend. Family from all over the world had flown in to attend. I was quite inebriated the entire weekend and, for the first time, extended family were witness to the severity of my alcohol abuse. At the end of all festivities, an informal intervention was held, and I was ready to concede.
The truth is, I had already accepted the fact that I had been drinking alcoholically since mid-COVID but had succumbed to the notion of simply dying a slow and miserable alcoholic death in the next couple years. In the interim, I was going to continue on.
Reaching Out for Help
I had the privilege of attending Riverside Recovery, with much skepticism—not of the facility, but of my own willingness. I saw myself as an exception to the rule. The best medical staff and clinical team could not resolve my issues. It’s genetic. I’m too far gone. It’s… hopeless.
Nevertheless, I gave it a shot. This was hands down the best decision I could have made.
Building a New Life
I regularly attend AA meetings, I have a sponsor, and I have sponsored others. I have worked the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and do my best to practice these principles on a daily basis.
I went through Residential, PHP, IOP, and Outpatient at Riverside. The duration of which provided the accountability and continuing care I needed in early recovery. My life is by no means perfect. Difficulties persist, but they are tantamount to what I make of them. I no longer create my own difficulties; rather, I handle with grace and poise what challenges life decides to introduce.
Today, I actually work at Riverside Recovery. It is a blessing to be able to give back and help others who are in the exact same position I was in—the sincerest firsthand form of experience, strength, and hope.
As my therapist and friend Jules always says, “The promise is that each day can and will be slightly better than the previous… as long as my perspective opens the divine window for that to happen!”
Ready to Start Your Recovery Journey?
At Riverside Recovery, we believe that healing is possible for everyone, no matter where you’re starting from. If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, our team is here to provide the support, structure, and hope you need to move forward.
Contact us today to learn more about our programs and take the first step toward a healthier, stronger future.