Emotional Attachment to Fear and Pain

Because our difficult emotions are so hard to handle, we would think we wouldn’t want to stay so closely attached to them, but for many of us, we develop a strong attachment to our fear and pain. We cling to them, afraid to release them. Our attachment is so strong that we don’t allow the energy of our feelings to flow freely through us. Instead, it can stay stagnant within us and fester, growing stronger and compounding our pain. Our attachment to our emotions can keep us stuck and hold us back from moving forward. We aren’t able to process our emotions in healthy ways because we are holding onto them so tightly.

Just like our bodies need to breathe to function, our emotions do too. They need to be provided with space and expansiveness for us to develop emotional freedom. Part of growing our emotional intelligence is learning how to let our feelings breathe. Learning conscious awareness of our thoughts and feelings means giving ourselves space and time to let them just be, to accept them as they are without holding on so tightly. When we are clinging to our feelings, we are trying to exert control. We’re trying to dictate outcomes for things. We have expectations for how things should be. As we heal, we learn that acceptance is a powerful tool for transformation. When we’re able to accept our emotions for what they are, and embrace them for what they can teach us, their painful hold over us loosens. We’re freed up to learn and grow from them without the same stagnant, forced energy we’ve been holding so tightly.

Emotional detachment is an important skill to learn in our recovery. Like any other emotional skill, detachment takes time and practice to develop. We can use meditation and visualization exercises to help us with this process. Try imagining your pain and fear as a dark cloud hanging above your head. At first this cloud will be very close to you, even inside you. Visualize it floating away, further and further with each breath, until it feels like it is at a safe distance from you. Meditate on this feeling of allowing your pain to be separate and detached from you. Meditate on how liberating it feels not to hold onto it so fervently. Use affirmations such as “I am able to detach. I have acceptance.” When we detach from our painful emotions and have acceptance for them without trying to change or control them, we allow ourselves to move through them organically and learn from the wisdom inherent within.

At Riverside Recovery, our commitment is to helping you reclaim the life you love. Recovery is possible! Call us today: (800) 871-5440.