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How Our Dysfunctional Families and Our Addictions Are Connected

Many of us who identify as addicts also identify with having come from dysfunctional families. Our families were broken apart by separation, neglect, abuse and abandonment. We didn’t have healthy family dynamics, strong communication or effective conflict resolution. We grew up being traumatized by loved ones and watching others be hurt. We grew up blamingRead More

Why Do We Self-Blame?

Many of us have a tendency to form unhealthy attachments to our emotions, and among the feelings we commonly become unhealthily attached to are our guilt, shame and self-blame. We instinctively blame ourselves for things that aren’t our fault. We hold onto our mistakes and wrongdoings long after they’ve stopped hurting anyone else, but forRead More

Believing in Ourselves and Our Recovery

As we’re taking on the process of healing ourselves, one of the things we sometimes overlook is how we feel about ourselves and our recovery, whether or not we’ve lost faith in ourselves, whether or not we still believe in ourselves and our ability to recover. Many of us have very mixed emotions about ourRead More

Life Skills in Recovery

Sometimes our addictions and mental health issues are so debilitating we feel as though we’ve forgotten how to live our lives in healthy, empowering ways. We don’t feel able to function normally, accomplish our goals, or even get through the day. We feel so depressed we can’t get out of bed. We stop taking careRead More

The Myth of the “Last Time”

When we’re still embroiled in our addictive patterns, one of the things we tell ourselves the most is that this time will be “the last time.” This will be the last time we go on a binge or bender. It will be the last time we use at all. It will be the last timeRead More

Finding Our Voice

Addiction and mental illness can cause us to become completely disconnected from our inner selves, so much so that we lose sense of who we are. We lose our voice. Our voice is how we communicate our innermost thoughts and feelings with the world, with the people in our lives, and with ourselves. It’s howRead More

How Can Expectations Hurt Us?

Having expectations for ourselves and our recovery can be helpful. Expectations can help us to define goals for ourselves and to set intentions, to design plans and to create visions for ourselves. Our expectations can hurt us, however, especially when we become so consumed with trying to attain perfection that we don’t allow ourselves toRead More

Letting Our Recovery Be an Example for Others

Sometimes as we’re recovering, we feel ashamed and embarrassed about where we are in our journey. We feel down on ourselves. We feel disappointed that we haven’t made as much progress in our recovery as we would have liked. We feel like we’re so far from our goal of sobriety that we might as wellRead More

The Different Stages of Relapse

When we think of relapse, we usually associate it with the act of returning to our drug use after a period of abstinence. We think of all the painful emotions associated with it, the disappointment, shame and regret. We think of falling off the wagon and picking up our drug of choice after being soRead More

Why We Should Stop Trying to Constantly Fix Ourselves

The recovery process, like any personal development journey, is full of ups and downs, challenges and obstacles, successes and perceived failures. What we come to realize is that what feels like a failure, or a mistake, or a flaw, is actually an invitation to open ourselves up even more to the process of learning howRead More