How Can I Attract a Healthy Relationship?

When recovering from addiction and mental illness, one of the things we discover is that the health of our relationships plays a huge part in our overall well-being. We realize that we were so filled with self-destructive ways of thinking and feeling about ourselves that we naturally attracted partnerships and friendships that made us feel worse about ourselves and reinforced our low self-esteem. We manifested relationships full of abuse and mistreatment because deep down we hated and rejected ourselves. In order to attract healthy relationships that make us feel love, valued and appreciated, we have to heal ourselves internally and be a reflection within ourselves of the kind of love we’re looking for.

One of the many limiting beliefs that we hold onto about relationships is that we don’t deserve to be treated well. We might have been abused, neglected or abandoned as children. We might have had partners and friends in the past convince us that we didn’t deserve to be loved or to be happy. We internalize the profound impact of our trauma to mean we’re not good enough, not worthy enough, not lovable. We have to shift these damaging beliefs in order to start attracting into our lives all of the circumstances and relationships that we do want, as opposed to the ones we don’t want and that don’t serve us. We can start telling ourselves new truths around our lovability, our worthiness and our deservingness. We can tell ourselves that we are in fact good enough, worthy enough and lovable. We do deserve to have healthy relationships.

We want to start mentally and emotionally rejecting the unhealthiness we got so accustomed to – the inner self talk that tells us we will never be happy or find love, the people that bring us down rather than uplift us, the emotional self-sabotage of staying in relationships that aren’t good for us. We want to separate ourselves from all of these things. We want to tell ourselves that we deserve better and that we will no longer settle. This healing process sometimes requires that we separate from people that have meant a lot to us because our relationship was too filled with toxicity and unhealthiness. We may be pushed to confront our fears of being alone and our fears of abandonment in order to separate ourselves from these unhealthy relationships in our lives, and to give ourselves time for solitude and healing. The more we prioritize recovering from our many issues, the healthier we become. We naturally start to attract healthier relationships as a result. The more we love ourselves, the more we commit to making sure we’re receiving everything we want and need out of our relationships.

If you’re struggling with addiction, you’re not alone. Reach out for support. The community of Riverside Recovery has personal experience with addiction and recovery. We’re here to help you reclaim the life you love. Call (800) 871-5440 today.